Reflecting....

I am still here. Quinton came home on Sunday (not superbowl Sunday, the one before that). We were all so excited to see him. I couldn't believe how much I missed him. It is nice to be a family again. Three weeks is a long time.

Avery is very happy to have her daddy back. We are working on getting used to him being here again. She has nothing to cry about since Daddy is home. So when she wants to throw a fit, she has to stop and think about why she is crying. It is too funny to watch her sit and cry, then not remember why she is crying.

The first winter after you have a baby is ALWAYS the hardest (well relatively speaking of course). Avery was very sick her first winter. Tanner has followed suit. Every cold he gets goes into his lungs and causes wheezing. I have been going to the YMCA to exercise 4-5 times a week. The kids go into a kids room there and play for an hour. I am assuming that is where we got the latest round of illness....they both ended up with "the croup". That is one awful virus. Tanner had a hard time with that, more than Avery that is. They both had the "barking seal" cough at first. Once that subsided Avery basically settled into a bad cold. She is just fine. Tanner on the other hand has had a good run with this one. He started moaning (his version of crying) on Friday. That was his noise of choice until yesterday (Monday). I was going to loose my mind if I had to listen to it one more day. He also had an added wheeze that would not respond to any treatments. The poor guy couldn't catch a breath. He was panting from just sitting...forget crawling. We finally had to put him on prednisone (sp?). He still has his wheeze but it is remarkably better. Luckily when Tanner woke up this am he was happy and smiling. His eyes said to me "I'm back". He jumped up in his crib and started saying "MA MA MA MA" when he saw me. Oh what a joy. When you are in the midst of a 4 day run of moaning, crying, and general crap with a child, you question your sanity of why you had children and why you would want any more. Then on day 5 when you get that kiddo out of bed and they smile, kick, and laugh because you are there, it is easy to forget the crap you just dealt with.

One of the fun parts of motherhood is wiping noses, butts, and carpets. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. My babies are a blessing from God. I do question his sanity sometimes, but really it is not for me to question. He gave me those babies for a reason. I have to trust him to lead me through this journey.

At the end of the day I am ready for a break. Come morning time I am ready to wrestle with them on the floor, laugh, play, read, and wipe whatever needs to be wiped.

I hope every other parent loves this as much as I do. I also cannot forget my partner in crime with these babies. God made man and wife for a reason. There is good reason for there to be a mom and a dad in the house. I am "fun" but I am mostly the nurturer. That is how God made women. We love unconditionally and make sure everyone's needs are met before our own. Daddy's are fun. They add an aspect to children that mother's have a hard time doing. They don't see the pile of dishes, clothes and toys that get in the way of our views. They see the smiling faces of their children and keep them happy. Now don't get me wrong, when asked Quinton will jump up off the floor from playing to help clean or whatever, but I have changed my outlook on this and realized that it is just not as important as playing with those kids.

I have spent a few weeks (mostly while Q was gone) working on my outlook on life. I am so blessed. I just had to write about it. I hope you all look at your lives and count your blessings. Life is short. Remember the good, don't dwell on the crap.